Reflections on the last week

It's been a crazy week! Friday was my last day of student teaching. I stayed the weekend with my friends. Tuesday night was my last final, and today I had a big job interview. I just feel like I need to write some things down, so here goes.

Friday was a really overwhelming day. I was really relieved/excited because student teaching, which was the most work I've ever done in my life in a consolidated amount of time, was over. However, I absolutely love the students and teachers that I have been working with, and I didn't want to leave.

 They sent me off in a grand fashion. It felt like there was a surprise every hour. When I came in, my cooperating teacher and I exchanged gifts, and he gave me a very sweet card. He also gave me a bunch of cards the kids had made throughout the week. I actually didn't cry the whole day (don't ask me how that happened) but I did get a little teary eyed a few times - like when I read the cards.

At the beginning of first period, my co-op announced that the students should pass around the teacher textbook. They are retiring the old textbooks because the new series came in (they look amazing and I wish I could work with them!) - so he was using my book as a yearbook. The students wrote letters to me on whatever page in this 800 page book that they wished. THAT was a moment I almost cried, to be honest. I got to read some of the letters and they were so sweet. Some of the students left me clues on the first page in order to find their message... hahaha. It was one of the best gifts I've ever received. My in class support teacher also gave me this beautiful purple jewelry set.

Then, my co-op surprised me with a huge sheet cake during lunch. Most of the faculty came in to celebrate and brought food. Then, at the end of the day, I got a beautiful card from the faculty. In addition, the students filled out little evaluations for me (I liked... [one thing], I think you should improve... [one thing]). They gave me very constructive criticism but some of the things they wrote were very, very sweet (again - I can't think of another word to say.) I may have to share some of their comments another time.

Leaving was hard. My co-op gave me a handshake ("on a professional note") and a hug ("on a personal note"). Luckily I had somewhere fun to be - dinner with my friends down by the college. :)

We had dinner and Kristina and I shared all of our experiences from the day - she also left her student teaching placement. Then, we went to the carnival on campus, and that was a fantastic way to stop being sad and finally spend some time with my friends this semester. :)

The next day was very relaxing, spent with my friends. I had to do some work for my presentation, but that wasn't my main goal for the day. It was a lazy Saturday. That night we went to a fun. concert in Philly, and it was so awesome - the third time I've seen the band and the best. Everyone was so excited to be there and the band was so HAPPY (you could just tell by their faces). They just hit it big with their song, "We are Young," so they're understandably excited. It was a blast.

The next day I drove home and spent some time with my sister and with cleaning my room. Tuesday night was my final presentation on student teaching and now that it's over, I just don't care. :)

More soon!
-Jess

Conversations - last week of student teaching

Student: Are you leaving?
Me: Yes, this Friday.
Class: Awww....
Another student: And you weren't planning to TELL US?
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Student: I'm going to miss you so much!
Me: I'm going to miss you guys, too!
Another student: Why can't you just get a job here?
Me: I wish I could, but there aren't any openings!
ANOTHER student: Well, you HAVE to visit.

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Student: I'M NOT GOING TO BE HERE TOMORROW! That means I have to say goodbye today!
Me: Oh, okay!
Student: Can I have a hug?
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I love my chosen profession.

"Everything is changing, and I don't feel the same."

That quote wasn't meant to be depressing, but more reflective. I'm really feeling that way today.

A lot of things have happened since I last posted... whoops :) I really wish I had documented funny/awesome/rewarding moments from student teaching as I continued. When I get a job, I promise to do that better, but today, I am going to make a short list...

-Yesterday, students were "planking" in the classroom during last period... yes. My cooperating teacher let it go because it was Friday and they have state testing next week =P
-Seeing my students start to write my name in the heading, rather than my cooperating teacher
-The couple of times I've been absent and students told me they missed me
-When the lightbulb goes on in class
-When the students became super interested in learning about the Holocaust. It has a lot of shock value, and these kids are relatively sheltered and have not learned about it academically
-When one student came up to me and said I was one of their favorite teachers
-When I made the play directors cards and had the kids secretly sign them, and the kids were all saying, "We should have made YOU a card!"
-My first and last observations (there were 7 overall, so it was a long road)
-Getting nominated for a state student teacher award
-Handing in my senior thesis and my student teaching capstone paper - sweet victory, yeah.
-Getting job interviews!
-Seeing the kids perform in the musical we had all worked on together - made me tear up a few times. They were SO good.
-That point when I knew all the kids' names, and they knew mine

If I think of more, I'll write them down, but those were the big moments so far. I just have one more week, so there may be others. I'm so grateful for this experience.

I'll have to write a funny post soon. I plan to update a lot more :)

1 month anniversary

Today marks the one month anniversary of my student teaching. It doesn't feel like a whole month has actually gone by. It's crazy! I've done so much in the last month and I think because it went so fast, it's been almost difficult to reflect. Luckily, for my weekly capstone class, one of our only assignments so far has been a weekly reflection. That helps. I literally feel like I haven't had the time, strength, energy, etc. to actually sit down and think about it all lately.

Well, the first thing I know is true: I know I'm in the right career. For sure. Even though I'm still learning (and always will be), the last week or so has been the first time I've felt very comfortable doing all the things I do in the school, as a guest. I feel like I'm really connecting with the students now. I knew that wouldn't happen right away, so I'm thankful that it has now. I've also learned almost all of their names; there's just one class that I'm still working on. So overall, I'm feeling really good about it.

My communication skills have improved drastically (not just in the classroom - in every aspect of my life). That is - I often have trouble getting the words out that I want to say, and when I do I stumble. I think I often think too fast and don't slow my talking down enough. I've been getting so much better. I've also, under the encouragement and supervision of my cooperating teacher, been improving my confidence level and what I say. Sometimes I think that when I talk, I don't have a filter - I'll just come out and say things that probably don't need to be said. Not necessarily things that are inappropriate but things that show that I'm still wavering in my confidence level. But again, getting better. Finally, although I'm still skating the line between how to assert myself as a teacher (especially in a classroom where I'm only a visitor) and how to be friendly, I think all of that is slowly becoming more clear to me.

I can't believe I only have 2 months left. That's daunting in a way because I have SO much to do in that time, plus thesis stuff and my capstone paper, and interviewing for jobs, but I think when it's over I'm going to be upset. My friend Kristina just left her student teaching in Italy to come back here and start (study abroad students go half and half for the semester) and she was so upset to leave her students and school (not to mention Italy - I don't blame her).

Well... time to go to mounds of work. This is the first Saturday I've had off in weeks and I'm grateful.

A question

"Ms. H, do you sing good?"
That's the question one of my students asked me today.
My students don't know that I've been a musical theater fiend since I was their age - in 8th grade. They don't know that I sang in chorus for 8 years, that I sung in an all girl's barbershop quartet for 3. That I've been nominated for a regional musical theatre award. That I've performed in no less than 20 shows.

What they do know is that I'm their teacher for 3 months. That I attend college. That I tell them to open their books to page 394 (pat yourself on the back if you got the reference). That I pull up in the morning in front of the school and say "good morning" to them all. That I collect and grade their homework. That I plead with them to be quiet in the last two periods of the day. That I teach them about social studies and make them work with partners almost every day.

Now they know that I'm helping with their production of Annie, Jr.

So, I smiled, and I nodded. I think I sing pretty "good," though I'm a little out of practice.
This started a chorus of, "I want to hear you sing!!!!!"

In good time, perhaps. Maybe.

Professionalism

Professionalism is one of the first things we discussed in my capstone class last week, and rightly so. I think that I have always presented myself well in the schools I have observed/worked in. I've been dressed right, on time, helpful, friendly, etc. But being a student teacher is a whole new level. You are in that school every single day for 7-8 hours. Everything you do, say, what you look like, etc. reflects upon your college and also your future career as a teacher.

It's a little intimidating to think about. Plus, we talked in class about how even outside of school, you have to remember that you are a teacher. You represent the students and the school district you work in. It's not something I'm worried about, but it's something I hadn't really thought about until last week. I guess I'm being forced to grow up (not that I mind) but I've taken on this whole new perspective.

No more is there an issue of really being a student and a teacher - in the school, at least. For example, when I was observing and doing junior practicum, I always wondered whether I should use the student or teacher bathrooms. I know that sounds silly, but it showcases the problem well. You're caught between two worlds. 

However, with student teaching, you are faculty. You really are. You are treated like a school employee. You are responsible for the students you are teaching. Your cooperating teacher is in the room, but he/she is not in charge. You are (okay, for the most part).

Last week, I still felt like a student, but this week, I feel like a teacher. Part of it has to do with the fact that I've actually been TEACHING the first two periods of the day. My own lessons, too. I've been intricately involved in the planning and grading and behind-the-scenes faculty stuff since day one. And I really feel it now. But I'm really confident that I can assert myself. Professionalism is such a big part of this whole experience. I know that it will take me a while to fully develop myself as a teacher, but I'm prepared for that (I think).

On another note, today, my coop was ordering the new books for next year (he hasn't had new ones in almost ten years and I can vouch for their crapiness) - and the two in-class support teachers were encouraging him to order three teacher editions instead of just one, because he was trying to save money. That made me sad because I realized I won't be here past the end of April. I didn't realize how attached I've already become to the school =/ but hopefully I'll have my own school soon. And it will be great.

-Jess 

The first week is over!

And I'm taking a couple of days to rest. And organize.
I have learned so much in student teaching already that it's hard to catalog it all. I don't think I even can. A lot of it has to do with actually being in a school for 40 (unpaid) hours a week, behind the scenes and also front and center. I haven't taught yet but Monday is my test drive - I'll be teaching 2 of the 8th grade classes every single day until the end of April. And every week, I'll add on another class - which means I'll have less time to plan during the day and more time to teach. Which, I guess is the point!

Right now, since I'm just getting back into it, lesson plans are daunting. I'm procrastinating hardcore because I have a sort of writer's block - I'm stuck - how do I get my students to understand something, in an interesting and educational way? I'm really hoping that as I plan more, my teacher brain will kick in more than it ever has before and allow me to plan lessons with (relative) ease. Because once I add the 7th grade in two weeks, I'll be doing double the amount of work. And I'm already doing a lot.

 But I'm not complaining - because that's what I have to do, to be a good teacher. Work hard. Plan lessons. Always take in the needs of the classroom and individual students. As much as teachers today get a bad reputation, I know I picked the right career.

-Jess