Resisting good food is a battle

I've always found it hard to resist good food, and I think this is one of the first times in my memory that I successfully resisted BBQ food - all the leftovers from Fourth of July.

My freshman year of college, I was at my heaviest, and I ate pretty badly. It was definitely a combination of being stressed out and trying to figure out what I liked from the all-you-can-eat dining hall. Sophomore year, I found my go-to dinner - salad with veggies, mushrooms, grilled chicken, and olive oil or house dressing - and sometimes a piece of fruit or something else, or more veggies - and I started eating that several times a week. Plus, I would eat Cheerios with skim milk, oatmeal, or a banana for breakfast every day. And lunch was usually a sandwich of some sort.

Even though I still snack rather scarily, my eating habits have improved - and I started going to the gym several times a week in January of that year. Junior year proceeded the same way, and I'm proud to say that in the last two years I've lost about 20 pounds. And I wasn't even working as hard as I could have to lose it. I could have exercised more, but school got insane. And when it's between working for one more hour on that research paper or getting your butt to the gym, I often went for the former - because school is the most important thing to work on in my life right now.

But every time I'm home, it all goes to hell. We have really yummy dinners that I can't resist, and I have done better with eating less than I used to, but I still feel guilty. Plus, I realized I hate using the treadmill and want an elliptical, but we don't have one (and I don't really have the funds or patience to join a gym around here because I would be seeing half of the kids from my high school), so I either walk, play basketball, or don't exercise at all. I need to improve with that. Either way, I'm healthier at school.

Yesterday, we had burgers, chicken, baked potatoes, and corn. Yum, yum, yum. I had two burgers without even thinking about it, and I feel like such a pig! It's not a big deal or anything and I'm not upset, but I knew that yesterday was my *really* bad eating day for the week. The point is, today, I successfully avoided eating another burger for dinner (even though I really wanted to eat it), and all the other leftovers in the fridge. My mom made salads for the two of us. I feel better now that I've eaten and that I made the right choice (and damn, that salad was good), but it's so hard! I only realized two years ago what eating the burger diet could do to me. I wish it had been sooner.

One thing I couldn't resist today... and I don't regret it at all, because how often do I get to have it? You only live once!

Flag cake from yesterday - strawberries, blueberries (the good stuff), cool whip (lite), and pound cake (the bad but delicious stuff).

Now I'm going to try to take a "work out walk" - as long as it's cooled down out there!

-Jess